I cringe when i see a picture of you, hear your name, scroll past your name in my phonebook. I can't stand the fact that i have to say "i knew him" and not "i know him" because that is the truth and it feels like jagged glass against my chest but it's the only thing i know right now. That whatever THAT was, it will never repeat and i'm thankful to have felt again for the very first time in a very long time. and i thank you for that. Now......i think you should just not exist if i can't be with you.